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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26419366">Through Similar Bonds</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/YvyTee/pseuds/YvyTee'>YvyTee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Assassination Classroom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Abused Akabane Karma, Abused Asano Gakushuu, Abused Nagisa Shiota, Akabane Karma Is A Dumbass, Akabane Karma is a Good Friend, Akabane Karma is a Little Shit, Akabane Karma-centric, Anxiety, Asano Gakuhou Loves His Son, Asano Gakuhou's A+ Parenting, Asano Gakuhou's Bad Parenting, Asano Gakushuu Is A Dumbass, Asano Gakushuu Is Not Impressed, Asano Gakushuu is Bad at Feelings, Asano Gakushuu-centric, BAMF Akabane Karma, BAMF Asano Gakushuu, BAMF Shiota Nagisa, Canonical Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Depressed Akabane Karma, Depressed Asano Gakushuu, Depression, F/M, Gakushuu falls in love with Karma sooner or later, Gay Akabane Karma, Gay Asano Gakushuu, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I make mistakes, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Karma falls in love and actually knows it, Karma is such a Troll, M/M, Nagisa's not depressed but he's corncerned, Not Beta Read, Oblivious Asano Gakushuu, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Akabane Karma, Self-Harm, Shiota Hiromi Loves Nagisa, Shiota Nagisa Is A Dumbass, Shiota Nagisa Is Concerned, Shiota Nagisa Is Confused, Shiota Nagisa-centric, Slow Burn, Suicidal Akabane Karma, Suicidal Asano Gakushuu, Suicidal Buddies!!, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, What is going on, ahaha, eventually, he just doesn't realize it, he really does, karushuu, mostly on Gakushuu's part, save him, she really does, the two geniuses will drive Nagisa crazy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:20:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26419366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/YvyTee/pseuds/YvyTee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Karma sees things in both Nagisa and Asano that are similar to himself. When he brings them together for a meeting, he reveals what he knows.</p><p>Forming a bond due to their similar lives, the three of them become close friends. Meanwhile, their other friends have no idea what's going on.</p><p>(In this story, this is their freshman year, in highschool.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akabane Karma &amp; Asano Gakushuu, Akabane Karma &amp; Asano Gakushuu &amp; Shiota Nagisa, Akabane Karma &amp; Class 3-E, Akabane Karma &amp; Shiota Nagisa, Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu, Araki Teppei &amp; Asano Gakushuu &amp; Koyama Natsuhiko &amp; Sakakibara Ren &amp; Seo Tomoya, Asano Gakushuu &amp; Class 3-E, Asano Gakushuu &amp; Shiota Nagisa, Class 3-E &amp; Shiota Nagisa, Kayano Kaede/Shiota Nagisa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>267</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Akabane Karma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello. There is going to be a lot of editing with this one.</p><p>And by a lot, I mean A LOT.</p><p>I first got this idea a while ago and it wouldn't leave my mind so I made this. It's also posted on Wattpad too, under a slightly different name.</p><p>Gakuhou ultimately does love Gakushuu, but he's obviously terrible at showing it.</p><p>Same with Hiromi and Nagisa.</p><p>I will be editing this story a lot in between updates, so if you've read something that is no longer there or has been changed, that's probably due to the editing. If I make any accidental spelling/grammar mistakes, please tell me!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akabane Karma is not a particularly nice person.</p><p>This is something his peers know.</p><p>Karma enjoys fighting, and he enjoys the thrill of the moment. Karma likes to feel the adrenaline, and he thrives whenever he gets into trouble. He loves sticking wasabi and mustard and hot sauce up a person's nostrils. It's who he is.</p><p>However, that doesn't mean Karma is heartless. Half the reason he fights is to help or protect people. There is a little old lady in his neighborhood who he brings flowers to every morning. Karma will die and kill and bleed and suffer for his friends, for his loved ones, for those who have earned his trust and loyalty and return it. He will help someone who is truly suffering and in need. He will be there for them.</p><p>Which leads him to now. Akabane Karma is at school. More precisely, he is at Kunugigaoka High. It's lunch, and he's in the library, alone. Currently, he is staring at the school's student council president and son of the board chairman, Asano Gakushuu. Don't get him wrong, it's not like he's attracted to the guy (although he will admit the guy is attractive) because he's not. No, the reason for staring is something different.</p><p>Very different.</p><p>Akabane Karma is not a normal person. He does not have a normal life.</p><p>From the moment he could walk and talk, he's always been a living punching bag for his parents. When his parents aren't beating him to the ground, they're out somewhere, traveling the world on another business trip. They'd be away for months, and only visit for a couple weeks (if he's lucky, they'll stay home for only one).</p><p>Akabane Karma has depression. He loves the sight and feeling of his blood dripping down his skin, of the pain that drowns his emotions away (the feeling of <em>empty empty empty nothing void dark black bloodlust want death death death</em>). He's attempted multiple times to make it all go away, to never feel, never experience anything again (<em>the ground's getting closer water blood sharp his life is flashing before his eyes help help help</em>) but he has failed.</p><p>Akabane Karma is all that. He has all that. And he knows the signs. He knows when someone is like him.</p><p>He knows <em>Asano</em> <em>Gakushuu</em> is like him (<em>hurt pain disgust empty empty empty why are parents like this why why can't they just stop feeling stop living</em>). He is determined to help him. Maybe they could help each other. Karma just needs to get the guy alone so they can talk. Those four friends who always follow Asano around like dogs are hardly ever without him at school.</p><p>Everyone thinks Asano Gakushuu is perfect, but he's not. Karma knows this. He doesn't care. Karma knows nobody is perfect. He will invite Asano Gakushuu to the café with him and they will talk and help each other out.</p><p>But it's not just Asano Gakushuu. Karma knows there is also someone else.</p><p>Shiota Nagisa.</p><p>Unlike Karma and Gakushuu, Nagisa is not particularly depressed. He cares for his life, and he would like to live it because he's not suicidal. He doesn't hurt himself to feel the pain like they do. But Karma knows.</p><p>Shiota Nagisa is just as damaged as they are.</p><p>Nagisa is in a similar situation at home. His mother likes to make him a walking living canvas, just like Karma is a living punching bag and Gakushuu is a living breathing beaten doll.</p><p>It's ironic, Karma thinks, that three students connected to the same school in some way are all being abused, and nobody's noticed.</p><p>But that's how stupid people are.</p><p>Shiota Nagisa lives with a mother who's always wanted a daughter. Their relationship has gotten better since Nagisa's last year of Junior High, but it doesn't mean it's easily fixed. There's still bruises that are new or won't fade and Karma knows. <em>He knows.</em></p><p>Asano Gakushuu lives with a father who went crazy because of a student the chairman loved more than his own son (and that was years ago). Like Nagisa and his mother, their relationship has gotten better since a year ago, but like Nagisa, it isn't very easily fixed. Gakushuu sometimes cannot decide whether to call Gakuhou <em>father </em>or <em>board chairman. </em>Karma thinks it's stupid. He thinks Gakushuu and Nagisa should just stop caring and cut ties with their parents.</p><p>But those two are stupid like that. They love their mother and father, despite the bruises and scars and pain and hurt the adults bring them.</p><p>Akabane Karma has been hurt. He's been bruised and scarred. His parents have tried multiple attempts of murder against him (but he's always escaped because he won't make it easy on them <em>ha take that hag, bastard</em>). He knows the feeling of empty, the feeling of want. At some point in time, Karma, like Nagisa and Gakushuu, had loved his parents and wanted their love back.</p><p>Now though, Karma is long done with that. Instead, he'll help those two, because they're like him. He'll help them in any way he can, he'll be there for them if they need it. He just needs to find a way to talk to them. He needs to get Gakushuu alone, and he needs to text Nagisa because he's at another school.</p><p>But Karma will get them together, and the three of them will help each other.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Asano Gakushuu</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Asano Gakushuu is living to be the perfect person his father wants him to be. Then Akabane Karma comes in.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Asano Gakushuu is perfect.</p><p>This is a fact known throughout his peers.</p><p>He's athletic, smart, and kind. He works hard and he always gets the top grades. People admire him. Boys want to be him. Girls want to be with him.</p><p>However, Asano Gakushuu is far from perfect. He hurts himself practicing, he gets migraines studying, and he really wants to be left alone but there's always people surrounding him and he can't say no because that's rude. Despite working hard he doesn't always get top grades. Sometimes he ties with or loses to or wins against Akabane Karma.</p><p>Asano Gakushuu would like to say he has lived a happy life so far, but he really hasn't.</p><p>Asano Gakushuu has a father. His father is amazing, an intellectual person who started a school who is strong who- who-</p><p>Hurts him.</p><p>His father likes to leave bruises and scars and different marks on him but that's okay. All parents hurt their children in some way, right? And his father is justified in his actions because Gakushuu was bad he failed he didn't do it right he was wrong he needed to be <em>punished punished punished. </em>Gakushuu does not bear any hate for his father because his father is always right, because he always wins. Gakushuu loves his father, his father who holds so much space in his heart even though he doesn't show it, but-</p><p>He isn't sure his father loves him back.</p><p>His father always looks at him with cold eyes and indifference. To his father, he is just a student that needs to be taught. He is just <em>Asano</em>. He is not <em>Gakushuu</em> or <em>son</em> or any of that. He has to call his father <em>board chairman </em>and on the rare times the man is in a good mood, he is allowed to call him <em>father. </em>Sometimes Gakushuu thinks his father is a monster. Sometimes Gakushuu fears his father with all his heart. But he will never admit it, because he can't bring himself to stop loving his father. After all, his father is an amazing man. What kind of a son would he be if he didn't love his father?</p><p>Gakushuu used to have a loving father. A father who played with him, laughed with him and smiled with him. A father who called him <em>Gakushuu</em> and <em>son</em> and loved him and hugged him and made him feel better. Gakushuu doesn't have that anymore, not since his father's former student Ikeda jumped off that bridge. But that's okay. He still loves the father he has now.</p><p>Although, Gakushuu can't stop the empty feeling he has. It's constantly there, eating away at him alive and screaming at him. It gets harder and harder to sleep or eat or move or do anything but he will resist it anyway. He finds that he can make the empty feeling go away. All he has to do is <em>cut cut cut</em>. And it feels nice too. It feels like all his negative emotions and pain make way for a new, exhilarating pain and he can't help but admire the way his blood drips to the floor in <em>red red red</em>. It's exciting, it's amazing, he can't stop it's so <em>addicting</em>. How has he not done this before? He can't believe he hasn't done this sooner.</p><p>Gakushuu sometimes wishes he could be like Ikeda. He wishes he had the courage to jump off a bridge or building or cliff (he discovered that Akabane Karma had done that before, in their third year of Junior High although the inhuman octopus saved him). He wishes he had the courage to do so like Ikeda and Akabane Karma.</p><p>Sometimes, Gakushuu thinks his father has never loved him. That the smiles and laughter and hugs when he was little were all fake. Sometimes, he thinks his father might love Ikeda more than he loved him. Sometimes, he thinks it's not a fair comparison because Ikeda will always be better. But Gakushuu does not fault Ikeda for that. Gakushuu is just a terrible son, if his father cannot bear to even give him the time of his day.</p><p>Their relationship has gotten a little better since Junior High but Gakushuu still fears his father at times. His father still likes to leave bruises and scars and marks sometimes, too (like that time his father punched him across the room in his last year of Junior High, when 3-E beat Class A and got to the top 50, and he got a cut on his cheek). Gakushuu is just happy it doesn't happen so often anymore, and that he has a somewhat better relationship with his father. He can now joke and laugh with the man (although he still has to be cautious when he can, or when it is better not to do or say nothing at all, to be invisible). Gakushuu knows that despite the man's flaws, he will still love his father unconditionally.</p><p>Akabane Karma does not understand that. The two of them talked during the summer, since Akabane promised to explain everything that happened in 3-E when Gakushuu covered for them so they could graduate. They are sort of acquaintances now, though they still aren't that close. Gakushuu knows that Akabane also has bruises and scars and marks from his parents, and it only cements his idea that all parents abuse their children and it isn't a big deal, it's okay. Akabane loathes his parents, while Gakushuu loves his father, and they will always have that difference. Even though Akabane does not understand, he does not say anything, although Gakushuu catches the redhead staring at him sometimes, eyes narrowed and thoughtful.</p><p>Akabane Karma is always watching him, like a predator waiting to strike when their prey is most vulnerable. But he does so in a way that gives off as him caring, although Akabane will always say differently.</p><p>Asano Gakushuu is a person who is perfect but not perfect, kind but not kind, and he is a person of many masks and cracks. Gakushuu is a person full of holes and lies and hidden tears and frowns. He is a person with self-inflicted lines on his arms, and he thinks that makes him pathetic, that he can't handle something every other child can. He's ashamed of himself, but he won't admit. Not to anyone.</p><p>Asano Gakushuu is not okay, and he wonders if he really ever was.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Shiota Nagisa</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shiota Nagisa is a boy. He will not let himself be put down by anyone other than his mother.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shiota Nagisa is a boy.</p><p>This is a fact known by himself and his fellow 3-E classmates.</p><p>He may be quite feminine, but he is in fact a boy. He wears the standard school uniform for boys and he has all the male parts.</p><p>However, his long hair and feminine features make him seem differently. He hates that. He is a boy. He was born a boy and will always be a boy, despite his feminine features and name.</p><p>Shiota Nagisa is a son born to a mother who always wanted a daughter. She forces him to grow long hair and makes him dress in female clothing such as dresses and skirts. She makes him much more feminine than he is, and he hates that. She calls him her darling daughter and her beautiful girl and it makes him want to scream and claw and scratch at his skin. Every time he tries to tell her different she gets furious and slams his head into the table or whatever will leave bruises and marks.</p><p>But he loves his mother.</p><p>He loves his mother, like he loves his father even though the man left when he couldn't take Nagisa's treatment.</p><p>Shiota Nagisa sometimes gets gender dysphoria. Not because he's trans or anything (he doesn't care who a person's gender is, they're themselves and they decide), but because his mother will not stop calling him a female even though he is male. He's a boy. Why can't his mother accept the truth?</p><p>He got along better with his mother since last year, but... it's not easy. Things haven't been fixed right away. She still considered him her daughter. He wants to cry.</p><p>He will always love his mother though, because she's his mother and he's her son. He knows Karma doesn't understand that.</p><p>Akabane Karma is Shiota Nagisa's best friend. He has been hurt, just like Nagisa. He despises his parents, and he thinks Nagisa should cut ties with his mother and five her the cold shoulder. He doesn't push though. He knows what he can and cannot control.</p><p>Shiota Nagisa thinks he knows his mother. He's sure she loves him (even though she doesn't show it). She tries to be here for him now, to act like a mother (even though there's barely any actual effort). He'll give her everything for things to stay the way they are now (and not the way it was before). He visits his father sometimes too and they talk. His dad is relieved to hear their relationship is better (he's proud to make his dad happy).</p><p>Sometimes Karma texts him at weird and strange or unusual times and he can feel there's something Karma wants to say but can't. That's okay though, because he'll wait. He'll be patient. He knows Karma is bad at speaking what's really in his mind at times. He wants to be a good friend to Karma, like Karma is for him.</p><p>Shiota Nagisa is a boy who looks like a girl and is forced to dress and play as one. He is born from a mother who craved a daughter and a father who feared something he couldn't control. Nagisa does not mind that, though. He loves them. He does not hold love for himself, but he does not hold hate for himself either. He does not think he should feel such. He should love others instead.</p><p>Shiota Nagisa is a boy, and he will always be a boy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. This Is My Only Fear, That We Become... Beautiful People</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's a while after he planned his idea through. </p><p>Akabane Karma is putting his plan in action. Asano Gakushuu is so obvious, yet he acts surprised when Karma calls him out. What an idiot. Shiota Nagisa seems confused, Karma can tell even though they're not face to face. But he's invited them, and he's got them all together.</p><p>And look, matching shirts! How awesome! Aw, come on you two! Don't you like them?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter title taken from Beautiful People by Ed Sheeran</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akabane Karma has planned this through. About a week of planning after his initial idea and ordering certain custom-made items, Karma is ready. He's prepared. He just needs to corner Gakushuu. Alone. He's been keeping a sharp eye on the chairman's son for a while now, and the guy's never alone, which is a little inconvenient and just a tad annoying, but he can work around it. He knows how. He'll wait until after school, where the guy has less chance of his <em>minions </em>nosing around in things that aren't their business. Karma takes out his phone.</p><p><span class="u"> <strong>Me</strong><br/></span> <strong>oi you<br/></strong> <strong>meet me after school<br/></strong> <strong>behind the building<br/></strong> <strong>alone</strong></p><p><span class="u"> <strong>ASS-A-NO</strong><br/></span> <strong>Excuse me, who are you?<br/></strong> <strong>Also, you might need to work on your texting better.<br/></strong> <strong>There is no proper punctuation or capitalization. Not even proper grammar.</strong></p><p><span class="u"> <strong>Me</strong><br/></span> <strong>ew i cant believe you use all that in text<br/></strong> <strong>just do what i say</strong></p><p><b> <span class="u">ASS-A-NO</span><br/></b> <strong>I don't even know who you are.<br/></strong> <strong>Also, how did you get this number?</strong></p><p><b> <span class="u">Me</span><br/></b> <strong>you know you seem awfully calm for someone who's been texting an unknown number asking to meet them behind the building after school</strong></p><p><b> <span class="u">ASS-A-NO</span><br/></b> <strong>That is because I know martial arts.<br/></strong> <strong>I can defend myself if needed.<br/></strong> <strong>But who are you, and how did you get this number?</strong></p><p><b> <span class="u">Me</span><br/></b> <strong>that is irrelevant<br/></strong> <strong>just meet me behind the school<br/></strong> <strong>after school<br/></strong> <b>if not i can tell people your deepest secrets</b></p><p><b> <span class="u">ASS-A-NO</span><br/></b> <b>Such as?</b></p><p><b> <span class="u">Me</span><br/></b> <b>like the time someone slipped alcohol in your drink<br/></b> <b>and you cried because some kid said you look old and called you "mister" and "grandpa"</b></p><p><b> <span class="u">ASS-A-NO</span><br/></b> <b>I will be there.</b></p><p><b> <span class="u">Me</span><br/></b> <b>perfect</b></p><p>Karma slips his phone back in his pocket and sees Gakushuu do the same. He smirks to himself, and thinks, <em>first step. Now I have to invite him.</em></p><p>He will wait after school.</p><hr/><p>After school, Karma hides in the leaves and branches of a tree behind the school as he waits for Gakushuu to arrive. When the student council president does, he looks around. Seeing no one, the boy huffs and pulls out his phone. A little later, Karma's phone vibrates. He pulls it out to see a text from Gakushuu himself. The boy below him seemed to be a bit impatient.</p><p><b><span class="u">ASS-A-NO</span> <br/></b><strong>I am here.<br/></strong> <strong>Where are you?</strong></p><p>Karma stares a bit before looking down at the boy tapping his foot and looking around. He types a quick reply.</p><p><b> <span class="u">Me</span><br/></b> <strong>dont worry im here<br/></strong> <strong>youll be in for a shock ;)<br/></strong> <b>hehehe<br/></b> <b>but i just wanna talk k</b></p><p><b> <span class="u">ASS-A-NO</span><br/></b> <b>Excuse me?<br/></b> <b>What does that mean?</b></p><p>Karma pockets his phone and jumps down from the tree.</p><p>"Yo, Asano," he grins. "Akabane," Gakushuu stares warily. "What were you doing up there? Unless..." "Yep!" Karma laughs. "I'm your mystery texter." Gakushuu narrows his eyes. "What did you call me here for?" He asks. "Aw, what? Can't I just hang out with a friend?" Karma pouts mockingly, hands in his pockets and head tilted to the left. "We are not friends Akabane," Gakushuu says sourly. "We are only acquaintances at most." "Aw, I'm hurt!" Karma exclaims, holding a hand to his chest where his heart should be. "You're so mean, Asano, really, you're breaking my heart!" Gakushuu rolls his eyes. "Get to the point and answer my question. Why did you call me here?"</p><p>Karma sighs, smile still on his face. "Alright, alright, sheesh. Go to the café with me on Saturday." Gakushuu raises his eyebrows, eyes asking a silent <em>um? </em>Realizing the way his words sounded, Karma laughs. "Not like that. I worded it funny. I plan on inviting Nagisa too. You know, the three of us have a lot in common." Gakushuu sighs. "How so?" "You'll find out when you meet us there," Karma smirks. "I'd rather not," Gakushuu replies dryly. Karma sighs, face turning serious.</p><p>"Ya know, Asano, you should be careful," he says. "People haven't noticed yet, but I have." Gakushuu furrows his brows, confused. "What are you talking about, Akabane?" He questions. "The cat scratches," Karma replies blandly. "Cat scratches...?" Gakushuu mutters quietly. "Yeah, those cat scratches on your arm. The huge, long ones under those bandages hidden by your jacket," Karma says nonchalantly. Gakushuu freezes. "Others haven't noticed yet, fortunately for you. But those cat scratches aren't gonna stay hidden long. I can help you, ya know. I know multiple ways to hide them," the redheaded boy continues. "After all, I'm pretty clumsy too. I always manage to stumble upon cats. I get scratches from them too." Gakushuu whips his head up to Karma, eyes wide in shock. "We're very alike, you and I," Karma blazes on. "We both have terrible parents, and we tend to get cat scratches. What say we talk more with Nagisa at the café on Saturday, at nine in the morning? The café near the train station." Gakushuu is silent for a long time, shock and panic rooting him to his spot. He processes everything being said to him, before he slowly nods. "Alright," he says, voice choked. "I will be there." Karma nods.</p><p>"Good. I'll be waiting."</p><hr/><p><b> <span class="u">Me</span><br/></b> <strong>yoooooo nagisa</strong></p><p><span class="u"> <strong>Nagisa</strong><br/></span> <strong>Yes Karma<br/></strong> <strong>What do you need</strong></p><p><b> <span class="u">Me</span><br/></b> <strong>lets hang out at the cafe on saturday<br/></strong> <b>near the train station<br/></b> <strong>at nine in the morning<br/></strong> <b>i invited asano hes coming</b></p><p><span class="u"> <b>Nagisa<br/></b></span> <b>Hmmm I don't know if having Asano there is a good idea but ok<br/></b> <b>I guess I could come</b></p><p><b> <span class="u">Me</span><br/></b> <b>great thanks nagisa<br/></b> <b>ill see you there</b></p><p><b> <span class="u">Nagisa<br/></span></b> <b>See you there Karma</b></p><hr/><p>Karma waits at a table next to a window fit for four people. There's a cardboard box on the seat next to him directly against the window, its contents lying inside. The bell to the door rings, and Nagisa walks in. Spotting Karma, he heads over and sits diagonally from him, to his right. "Hey, Karma," Nagisa greets. "Heeeey, Nagisa," Karma drawls, smirking. "So why'd you want to meet up?" Nagisa asks. "Let's wait 'till Asano gets here, 'kay?" Karma responds, dodging the question for the moment. "If you say so," Nagisa says, raising a brow. Just as the clock hits nine, as if on cue, the bell above the door rings, and Gakushuu strolls in, wearing a short sleeved button up shirt tucked inside gray skinny jeans and white adidas.</p><p>Casual, but formal at the same time.</p><p>Certainly nothing like Nagisa and Karma's clothing choice. Nagisa was just wearing a green t-shirt with the word HELLO printed on it paired with cargo pants and black sneakers (very comfortable, nice). Karma meanwhile wore a black t-shirt with a red and orange checkered flannel shirt along with ripped skinny jeans (a light shade of blue) and black converse high tops. Casual and comfortable. Certainly not like Gakushuu. (Karma thinks Gakushuu may not know how to relax or have fun, but that's just him.)</p><p>(But that's not the point here. Karma's getting distracted.)</p><p>Gakushuu sits down across from him, next to Nagisa. "What is the point of this meeting Akabane?" He asks. "Wow, straight to the point," Karma rolls his eyes. "Not even gonna think about ordering something?" "You called us here for a reason," Gakushuu states (party pooper). "What do you want?" "Well, since I knew you were gonna do that, I took the liberty of ordering for the three of us," Karma says cheerfully. "Akabane," Gakushuu grits his teeth. "Stop ignoring the question." "Alright alright, fine," Karma sighs. "I brought the three of us here today because of the three us- we have something in common."</p><p>"Like what?" Nagisa asks. Karma grins. "Well, I got us matching shirts!" He says, reaching into the box. "<em>That's</em> what you called us here for? <em>Matching shirts</em>? This is ridiculous," Gakushuu says angrily, getting up. "I'm taking my leave." "Ah ah ah!" Karma stops him, making him sit back down. "You haven't seen the shirts yet!" A waitress comes by and places three drinks on their table. "Thanks," Karma says, waiting until she leaves to pull out one of the shirts. "Ta-da!" He says brightly. "Our matching shirts!" Nagisa and Gakushuu fall silent, staring at the shirt in shock. "What... how- how... I... I didn't know you guys also..." Nagisa stutters. "What is the meaning of this Akabane?" Gakushuu hisses. "Why are you showing it here?" "Chill!" Karma laughs. "It was obvious to me. I know the signs. And don't worry, no one's gonna see this. I chose this spot for a reason. Also, we're alike, aren't we? It's only fitting we have matching shirts." "Not a shirt like that," Nagisa murmurs.</p><p>The shirt was a white t-shirt, with bold black letters printed on it in a large font.</p><p>
  <strong>THE</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>"ABUSIVE PARENTS"</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>CLUB</strong>
</p><p>"But aren't they great?" Karma snickers. "You gotta admit they're funny." Nagisa sighs miserably. "Well," Gakushuu mutters quietly, looking a little ashamed. "They do have some dark humor to them." "Asano!" Nagisa exclaims, incredulous. "I am only stating as I see fit," Gakushuu says testily. "Why get them if we can't even wear them out in public anyway, Karma?" Nagisa asks. "And did you order them? Because..." "Don't worry so much, Nagisa," Karma grins. "I had them custom-made and delivered through a private network. They don't ask questions or require answers as long as you pay. Also, we can wear them when we hang out together." Nagisa looks a bit disturbed. "There are things... er, networks like that?" Meanwhile Gakushuu has a different question. "You assume we will <em>hang out</em>?" "Well, yeah," Karma smirks. "Of course we'll hang out. We got a lot in common. Also, we can help each other. We can bandage each other's wounds, we can vent, and so and so. Also, matching shirts!" Gakushuu gives Karma a look, like he's questioning Karma's intelligence. Well, Gakushuu can shove it, because Karma is one of the top two students in the school! He has a very high intellect. His grades are a testament to that. "Matching shirts," Gakushuu sighs. "Akabane has gone crazy." "Hey!" Karma mock whines. "Matching shirts are awesome!" He throws the one in his hands at Gakushuu. "That's yours."</p><p>He reaches in the box and throws another to Nagisa. "That's yours," he says. "In your small size chibi!" Nagisa groans in exasperation, holding the shirt in both hands. "Also," Karma adds, cackling. "I have more." In unison, Nagisa and Gakushuu roll their eyes. Karma reaches in and grabs two shirts. "These are for you two. I don't have one of these because I don't fit in that stupid category," he smiles. The shirts look similar to the <em>"ABUSIVE PARENTS" CLUB</em> shirts, except they have different words.</p><p>
  <strong>THE</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>"LOVE YOUR PARENTS"</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>PREACHERS</strong>
</p><p>"Karma, seriously?" Nagisa grumbles. "This is ridiculous," Gakushuu huffs. "Well, it's true and you know it!" Karma chuckles. "You're obnoxious," Gakushuu says in a deadpan voice. "Oh, I know," Karma replies gleefully. "And there's still more." The two across from him smack their faces in their palms simultaneously, making him laugh. He pulls out a shirt. "This is for Nagisa and I," he says. The shirt, like the others, looks similar. Still, the words are different.</p><p>
  <strong>THE</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>"STUPIDLY RECKLESS"</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>IDIOTS</strong>
</p><p>Nagisa stares for a long time. "You just insulted yourself," he finally says, looking up at Karma. "Yes," Karma nods. "Yes, I did." Gakushuu chuckles. "I think I agree with this pair," he smirks amusedly. Nagisa  expresses a miserable look. "And," Karma continues. "One for Asano and I!" Gakushuu groans. Karma pulls out another shirt.</p><p>
  <strong>SUICIDAL</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>BUDDIES</strong>
</p><p>Nagisa stares, speechless ."Um, are you guys okay?" He asks. "Do you need to talk about it?" Gakushuu huffs. "Don't be ridiculous, Shiota," he says stiffly. "We are not required to speak to you about our problems." "Aw, don't be so stingy, Asano," Karma mockingly coos. "We're <em>suicidal buddies</em>, remember?" "<em>We are not</em>," Gakushuu hisses. "Don't call me that." Karma laughs. Nagisa stares at the both of them, worried. "Are you sure you two are okay? I mean, I'm here to listen if you wanna talk," he says. Before Gakushuu can speak, Karma cuts in. "Don't worry, Nagisa," he smiles softly. "We'll come to you if we need someone else to talk to." Gakushuu scoffs. "And don't worry," Karma gives a devilish smirk. "We'll have a way of communication." "Your smile worries me," Gakushuu huffs.</p><p>Karma gives him a deranged look, just to creep him out. It works.</p><hr/><p>(Karma is walking home when he's cornered. "Hey, kid," a man grunts. Judging by the scent of his breath, he's drunk. "Can I help you?" He asks. "Yeah," another man leers. "You're pretty cute, for a kid. Why don't you let us play with ya?" Karma gently sets the box of shirts on the ground. "Play with me?" He asks. "Yeah, kid," one of the men nods. "It's only fair. "Play with me, huh," Karma drawls, grin stretching across his face. It's not a nice grin- in fact, it looks quite demonic. His head is tilted towards the floor, so the four drunk men in front of him don't see it. "Well, then," he says. "If you wanna play, then let's play." He looks up, and his eyes seem to glow as he punches the man nearest to him. The guy shouts, goes down, as the others scramble to restrain the redhead. Karma isn't deterred, though. The teen twists, a deranged and dark look on his face as he punches the lights out in the face of another man, then kicks the third one in the crotch before elbowing him in the neck, knocking him out. The first two men he punched get up, joining the last man's side as they drag their buddy away.</p><p>The last man lunges, and Karma bends backward before he grabs the male's face and slams him to the ground, making him fall unconscious. The two men still aware run, dragging both their buddies away with them. Karma laughs. <em>A shame</em>, he thinks. <em>They didn't stay long enough for him to shove wasabi and hot sauce up their noses</em>. Oh well. It'll happen next time. He'll make sure of it.)</p><hr/><p>The next day, Karma walks into school, a smug smirk resting on his face. "What's got <em>you</em> in a good mood?" Koyama sneers. "Ah, that's my business to know, <em>Koyama</em>," Karma purrs. Koyama shudders in disgust, rejoining the other Virtuosos. Seo and Araki stare at him warily as Sakakibara purses his lips. Gakushuu merely raises an eyebrow.</p><p><em>Good talk, </em>Karma mouths, a grin worthy of the Cheshire Cat from the American movie playing at his lips.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. I Made It All The Way Up, Somehow It's Still Not Enough, I Spend Everyday I've Got, Being Somebody I'm Not</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Asano Gakushuu questions why he decided to listen to Akabane in the first place.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter title is song lyrics from Somebody I'm Not by Martin Jensen.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Asano Gakushuu would like to say he didn't choose this. He'd like to say that this is entirely Akabane's fault. Seriously, who in the world would make custom-made shirts like those online and have them delivered?</p><p>It started when Akabane texted him- how did the delinquent know his cell number?</p><hr/><p>
  <em>A flashback, told through Gakushuu's mind:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gakushuu had been sitting with Ren, Koyama, Seo, and Araki during lunch, when his phone vibrated. Curious, he grabbed it, turning it on and clicking on the notification, only to discover four texts from the same unknown number.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="u"> <strong>Unknown<br/></strong> </span> <strong>oi you<br/>meet me after school<br/>behind the building<br/>alone</strong> <span class="u"></span> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gakushuu was immediately irritated. This person dared to demand him without thought? Did they even know who he was? They must have, to grab the number of his cell. Who even had the audacity to demand anything of him? How dare they? They texted so atrociously, too!</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="u"> <strong>Me<br/></strong> </span> <strong>Excuse me, who are you?<br/>Also, you might need to work on your texting better.<br/>There is no proper punctuation or capitalization. Not even proper grammar.</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="u"> <strong>Unknown</strong> </span> <strong><br/>ew i can't believe you use all that in text<br/>just do what i say</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gakushuu grimaced. He couldn't stand the way they texted, and how they demanded things from him he didn't even want to agree to. It was highly frustrating and irritating, and he wanted to look up and glare at whoever was texting him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong><span class="u">Me</span><br/>I don't even know who you are.<br/>Also, how did you get this number?</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong><span class="u">Unknown</span><br/>you know you seem awfully calm for someone who's been texting an unknown number asking to meet them behind the building after school</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gakushuu almost scoffed. Who did this person think he was? Of course he was calm. He was Asano Gakushuu. He could fend for himself. He was capable. But this person still did not answer his questions, such as who they were and how they obtained his number.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="u"> <strong>Me<br/></strong> </span> <strong>That is because I know martial arts.<br/></strong> <strong>I can defend myself if needed.<br/></strong> <strong>But who are you, and how did you get this number?</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="u"> <strong>Unknown<br/></strong> </span> <strong>that is irrelevant<br/></strong> <strong>just meet me behind the school<br/></strong> <strong>after school<br/></strong> <b>if not i can tell people your deepest secrets</b> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The person was getting on Gakushuu's nerves. They dared to ignore him and demand from him without giving anything in return; whether it was answers or information. Also, his deepest secrets? Like what? Gakushuu doubted there was anything this person had on him that could be exploited.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <b><span class="u">Me</span><br/>Such as?</b> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <span class="u"> <b>Unknown<br/></b> </span> <b>like the time someone slipped alcohol in your drink<br/></b> <b>and you cried because some kid said you look old and called you "mister" and "grandpa"</b> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gakushuu froze because this person- this person has information that he'd rather not be revealed. First of all, it wouldn't do good for others to find out the perfect student council president had had alcohol, even though it was spiked and without his proper consent. Also, Gakushuu normally would not have cried for such a ridiculous thing such as a mere child defining him as an elder looking human or being called a grandfather or even "mister", but his emotions and nerves were running high and wild due to the unfortunate alcohol consumption that he had been dealt with, which in turn had resulted in him crying in front of the rest of the Virtuosos. It was quite out of character for him. (Gakushuu is still  determined to figure out who in the world had the nerve and audacity to do such a thing, spiking his drink, although he suspects it is Akabane- the aforementioned student is the only one daring enough to plan and pull it off, especially without Gakushuu noticing.)</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <b><span class="u">Me</span><br/>I will be there.</b> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <b><span class="u">Unknown</span><br/>perfect</b> </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Gakushuu arrived behind the school after class and immediately searched the are, looking for his mysterious texter. When he found no one, he huffed in annoyance, pulling out his cell.</em>
</p><p><span class="u"> <strong> <em>Me</em> </strong> </span> <strong> <em><br/>I am here.<br/>Where are you?</em> </strong></p><p>
  <em>When the person does not immediately reply, Gakushuu tapped his foot in irritation, pursing his lips as he did another round of searching with his eyes. His phone once again chimed with a notification of a text.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em><span class="u">Unknown</span><br/>dont worry im here<br/>youll be in for a shock ;)<br/>hehehe<br/>but i just wanna talk k</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Those last few words left Gakushuu confused, furrowing his brows.</em>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong> <em>Me</em> </strong> </span>
  <br/>
  <em> <strong>Excuse me?</strong> </em>
  <br/>
  <em> <strong>What does that mean?</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The person didn't answer. Instead, they jumped down from a tree a little to Gakushuu's right, diagonally. "Yo, Asano," they said, and it's Akabane. "Akabane," he said warily. "What were you doing up there? Unless..."  "Yep!" Akabane laughed giddily. "I'm your mystery texter!" Gakushuu narrowed his eyes, silently scolding himself for not realizing sooner, because of course it was Akabane. Who else could it be, to obtain his number without it be given to, to demand him and attempt to order him around, who could hold such embarrassing information about him, and who else could type so atrociously? "What did you call me here for?" Gakushuu asked, keeping his gaze on Akabane. "Aw, what? Can't I just hang out with a friend?" Akabane pouted mockingly, tilting his head innocently. "We are not friends, Akabane," Gakushuu snapped sourly, glaring at the redheaded bane of his existence. "We are only acquaintances at most." "Aw, I'm hurt!" Akabane exclaimed, letting out a fake gasp of pain and held a hand to his chest, where his heart most likely laid. "You're so mean, Asano, really, you're breaking my heart!" Gakushuu rolled his eyes. Akabane could be so annoyingly dramatic. "Get to the point and answer my question. Why did you call me here?"</em>
</p><p><em>Akabane sighed, a smile still on his face. "Alright, alright, sheesh. Go to the </em><em>café with me on Saturday." Gakushuu paused, before raising an eyebrow. </em>Is Akabane seriously asking me out? <em>He thought. </em>In such a manner? Texting me anonymously, meeting me behind the building, joking around? Also, Akabane likes men? Then again, he's never shown interest in women before. He also hasn't expressed interest in men, either, though. Also, does he seriously think I would date <em>him</em>? A delinquent, someone who rarely studies, if at all, a laid back slouch? A complete lazy sloth? A slouch?</p><p>
  <em>Akabane must have noticed his confusion and apprehension, because he laughed. "Not like that. I worded it funny. I plan on inviting Nagisa too. You know, the three of us have a lot in common." Gakushuu sighed at the ridiculousness of the redhead. "How so?" Akabane smirked. "You'll find out when you meet us there." "I'd rather not," Gakushuu mouths dryly, turning to walk away. Akabane grabs his arm before he can leave, turning him around to face him once more. Akabane sighed, his face growing serious, and that's when Gakushuu knew that whatever Akabane had to say, it would be important.</em>
</p><p><em>"Ya know, Asano, you should be careful," Akabane said airily. "People haven't noticed yet, but I have." Gakushuu furrowed his brows, confused. "What are you talking about, Akabane?" He demanded, questioning the delinquent. "The cat scratches," Akabane replied blandly, expression blank. "Cat scratches...?" Gakushuu muttered quietly. "Yeah, those cat scratches on your arm," Akabane said nonchalantly. "The huge, long ones under those bandages hidden by your jacket." Gakushuu froze, shock and panic icing through his veins as Akabane continued on. "Others haven't noticed yet, fortunately for you. But those cat scratches aren't gonna stay hidden long. I can help you, ya know. I know multiple ways to hide them," the other didn't stop, going on. "After all, I'm pretty clumsy too. I always manage to stumble upon cats. I get scratches from them too." Gakushuu whipped his head up, staring at Akabane with large, wide eyes in shock. "We're very alike, you and I," Akabane blazes on breezily. "We both have terrible parents, and we tend to get cat scratches. What say we talk more with Nagisa at the </em> <em>café on Saturday, at nine in the morning? The café near the train station."</em></p><p><em>Gakushuu stayed silent for a long time. He never told anyone about the cuts he made to his own arm. They made him feel better, but it also made him feel pathetic for resorting to using such a method just because he was useless and not good enough. He wasn't perfect, not the perfect student or son and he would never be useful for anything. He proved them by harming his own self, but he couldn't stop, no matter how much he wanted to. It just felt so good, so liberating and thrilling, feeling the pain that helped to make him feel</em> something, <em>that filled the empty void in his chest. He couldn't help that he loved watching his blood drip down his skin and into the sink in his bathroom connected to his bedroom. He never thought anyone noticed. He thought he hid it well. But Akabane noticed. Akabane confronted him about it. But... Akabane had said he felt the same. Akabane sliced lines in his arm, Akabane harmed himself, Akabane wanted to jumped from a high place and go splat on the ground, like Gakushuu heard he had attempted last year, in their third year of Junior High, when he stepped off that cliff in the mountains of 3-E, that old campus. Akabane felt the same feeling of </em>emptiness<em> and </em>nothing<em> and the longing to just </em>stop existing<em> in this mortal plane of existence and pass on happily with no more suffering. Akabane felt the</em> same.</p><p>
  <em>Gakushuu took time to process all of it, everything that happened, as shock and panic rooted him to the spot (although it was leaving, albeit in insanely small bursts), before finally he nodded. "Alright," he said softly, voiced choked. "I will be there."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thankfully, Akabane didn't comment on the choked noise of his voice. Instead, he just nodded. "Good. I'll be waiting."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gakushuu went to the meeting. He went back home with the shirts, and he wouldn't admit, even to himself, that he enjoyed it.</em>
</p><hr/><p>After the meeting that Akabane had asked for, the irritating boy had created a group chat, and he would not stop spamming the other two constantly. It makes Gakushuu resist the desire to strangle the delinquent until he begs for breath and release, but that would ruin his perfect image, and he cannot afford that.</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>The Abusive Parents Club</strong> </span>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: no im just saying<br/>Raspberry: what if sakakibara just-<br/>Raspberry: shaved off his whole head<br/>Raspberry: or let the rest of his head regrow hair<br/>Raspberry: what would he look like<br/>Raspberry: would he still be attractive to girls</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Blueberry: Karma please<br/>Blueberry: You need to stop</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: no lol</strong>
</p><p>Gakushuu is ready to commit murder. He will hide the body and no one will ever find it or know what happened. Or he will make it so that it will look like an accident- Akabane went out due to an unfortunate fire, or a car crash.</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: You better stop texting or I will confiscate that phone, and trust me. You do not want me to do that</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: lol not like you could<br/>Raspberry: what are you my dad</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: Even if I cannot confiscate your device, I still can and will prevent you from further words and texts in this chat.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: try me</strong>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Raspberry has been muted in this chat permanently!</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: I did.<br/>Strawberry: And I won.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Blueberry: What...</strong>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>Irritating Delinquent, Bane of my Existence</strong> </span>
</p><p><span class="u"> <strong>Irritating Delinquent, Bane of my Existence</strong> </span> <strong><br/>oi asshole<br/>unmute me<br/>unmute me asshole<br/>ASS-A-NO<br/>ASS-A-NO you ass<br/>hah<br/>fucker<br/>you little shit<br/>UNMUTE ME<br/>asano<br/>asano<br/>asano<br/>oi<br/>oi asswipe<br/>unmute me<br/>unmute meeeeeee<br/>shitheeeeaaaaaaad<br/>answer me<br/>fuckerrrrrr<br/>ASS-A-NO<br/>ASANO<br/>UNMUTE ME YOU SHIT<br/></strong></p><p><span class="u"> <strong>Me</strong> </span> <strong><br/>Oh my GOSH just SHUT UP!<br/>If you stop spamming the chat I will unmute you.</strong></p><p><span class="u"> <strong>Irritating Delinquent, Bane of my</strong> <strong> Existence</strong> </span> <strong><br/>fiiiiiine</strong></p><p><span class="u"> <strong>Me<br/></strong> </span> <strong>Thank you.</strong></p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>The Abusive Parents Club</strong> </span>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: FREEDOM<br/>Raspberry: im back bitches huehuehue</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Blueberry: Oh no</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: I apologize.<br/>Strawberry: He was being extremely annoying.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Blueberry: No need to apologize!<br/>Blueberry: I know how annoying he can be<br/></strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: excuse you i am amazing!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Blueberry: Uh huh</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: I assure you, you couldn't be more wrong.</strong>
</p><hr/><p>Gakushuu sits in the library once again during lunch, with his m- er, with the other Virtuosos, as usual. Akabane is nowhere in sight.  Gakushuu sighs softly, catching the others' attention. "What's wrong, Asano?" Ren asks. Oh, Ren. He's a good friend, though Gakushuu will never say it to his face. Ren understands. Ren listens. Ren doesn't judge. "I may have made a mistake," Gakushuu says. The others look surprised. "A mistake?" Araki echoes. "You never make mistakes." "Yet I did," Gakushuu despairs. "This is a mistake that cannot be ignored." The others exchange looks. "What was the mistake?" Koyama asks carefully. "I allowed myself to somewhat befriend Akabane," Gakushuu whispers. "And now I am in a... <em>group chat </em>with him." The others look horrified- rightfully so, of course, because Akabane is Satan himself come to Earth in the form of a teenage boy.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Seo whispers in that horrified voice. "I am physically. Inside, though? Akabane is driving me insane. I have contemplated his death," Gakushuu sighs. "Oh, you poor sweet summer child," Ren says sympathetically. Gakushuu doesn't understand Ren. He's a good friend, but then he goes and says stuff like that. Sometimes, Gakushuu is concerned for his friend's mental health rather than his own.</p><hr/><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>Asano and his Idiots</strong> </span>
</p><p>
  <strong>Idiot 1, The Highest Honor of Idiot: Is Akabane still bothering you, Asano?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Asano, The Idiot Tamer: No, not currently. Thank you for asking, though.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Idiot, English Sir: I feel bad, but I'm also glad it's not me that has to deal with it.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Memorization is Science, Eyebrows, Idiot: Akabane is a menace to society and a devil!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Social Studies, Ha! I Know More, Idiot!: He is pretty scary. He's also irritating, though. Is he driving you up the walls, Asano?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Asano, The Idiot Tamer: Yes.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Idiot 1, The Highest Honor of Idiot: Yikes.</strong>
</p><hr/><p>Gakushuu arrives home exhausted and with the desire to go to bed. He doesn't get the chance- at least, not right away. "Asano," a voice calls. A very familiar voice. "Chairman," Gakushuu greets cordially, like he's meeting with another parent, or a staff member, or a teacher. But this is so much more than that, he knows. "I received a call, today," the chairman says. "Oh?" Gakushuu asks, his stomach filling with dread. "Yes," the chairman says breezily. "A teacher brought her concerns to me when she noticed you seemed to be feeling unwell." Gakushuu doesn't allow his lip to tremble, or his blank façade crumble. "I see," he says. "I apologize, chairman." The chairman stands, walking towards Gakushuu. With every step Gakushuu stiffens more, with every breath Gakushuu wants to beg forgiveness, with every second of the feeling of piercing eyes Gakushuu wants to jump out a window and fall to his death.</p><p>"You are a perfect student, Asano-kun," the chairman smiles. "You cannot afford to be showing weakness." The man lands a solid hit against his chest, knocking the breath out of his lungs and leaving him gasping for air. He falls to the ground, where the man who contributed to his birth proceeds to land a particularly harsh kick to his stomach. Gakushuu wheezes, but fortunately for him, the chairman decides that is all for his punishment. That was one of the most merciful punishments he's ever had. "You cannot afford to show the crowd weakness, Asano," the chairman says. "You are the leader. There is no weakness in a leader- there never is. Consider that your lesson today." "Thank you, Chairman, sir," Gakushuu grits his teeth, unable to do anything. He walks out, doing his best not to hold his stomach or curl in on himself. He has to walk straight, like nothing is wrong with him at all. When he knows for sure he is out of the man's sight, he lets out a breath of relief. Once he's locked in his bedroom, where the chairman wouldn't dare come in, he collapses in his chair. He folds his arms on his desk, before resting his head on them.</p><p>Later on, when Gakushuu is done with his homework, before he continues with his studies, he heads to his bathroom and pulls a razor from his cabinet. He heads to the sink, and slowly, he begins to dig the blade in. It's refreshing, the way the blood pools from the cut, around the knife, before slowly dripping down his skin, staining the perfect, smooth white of his sink and dying it red, painting it with the color of roses and hearts and Akabane's hair. It stains the metallic grey and steel of the blade of his razor, too, and he loves it. Gakushuu can feel all the rage and annoyance and irritation and negative thoughts and the <em>empty empty empty feeling of the void dark black nothing at all </em>slink away with the blood dripping down his arm. Gakushuu can finally feel the calm he's always supposed to feel, the happiness he always feels whenever his skin is cut open and his blood is flowing out and the peace that reaches from his head to his toes to his heart and brain.</p><p>Gakushuu pours alcohol on his numerous fresh wounds in case of infection and bandages them up. He changes into a comfortable crisp white t-shirt with long sleeves and soft black cotton pants. He sits down at his desk and opens up his textbooks and notebooks and brings out his pencils and highlighters and pens and erasers. Once he's finally prepared, he gets to work, studying and reading and answering questions and jotting down notes. When the sun sets, he turns on the desk lamp and continues. He goes on well into the night, until he unconsciously falls asleep, head having fallen onto his left arm while his right arm is limp, hand still holding the pencil.</p><p>When his clock hits two in the morning, his bedroom door creaks open slowly. A head pops up from around the door, and the chairman- no, Asano Gakuhou- strides toward his son's slumped figure. He gently eases the pencil out of the boy's gripping fingers and sets it down on the desk. The boy's father then tucks a blanket arounds his son's shoulders, looking at the boy with soft eyes and a regretful expression. He allows himself to run his fingers through his beloved son's hair, before pausing and keeping the hand rested in the locks, on his precious son's head. He raises the hand, drawing it away, careful not to wake the boy up, before turning toward the door and out of the room. He looks back at the sleeping teenager one last time, then he closes the door and walks away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In case you don't know, here are the group chat names:</p><p>Karma- Raspberry<br/>Nagisa- Blueberry<br/>Gakushuu- Strawberry/Asano The Idiot Tamer<br/>Ren- Idiot 1, The Highest Honor of Idiot<br/>Araki- Social Studies, Hah! I Know More, Idiot!<br/>Seo- Idiot, English, Sir<br/>Koyama- Memorization is Science, Eyebrows, Idiot</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Had To Have High, High Hopes For A Living</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nagisa thinks Karma shouldn't be allowed to be as much of a genius as he is.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter title is from the song "High Hopes" by "Panic! At The Disco" (Brendon Urie)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>Shiota Nagisa has lived for 14, almost 15 years now. In those fifteen years, never in his life had he ever thought he'd be in this situation. A situation where he is now in a group chat with two other boys like him, all abused. He is also highly concerned for them- they're suicidal? That really can't be good for them. Nagisa needs to watch out for them more closely- he can't have them attempting suicide (although, that's what Karma tried to do last year, didn't he, when he stepped off the cliff and made it look like it was just another assassination attempt on Korosensei- of course, he should've known. He should've talked to Karma about it. No wonder Karma had been so calm falling down).</p><p>Now, Karma is texting the group chat non-stop and Asano is constantly reprimanding him and telling him to stop (like that'd really stop Karma).</p><p>"I'm home," he called. "Nagisa! Welcome home!" His mother smiled. "How was your day?" Nagisa smiled. Ever since last year, their relationship improved greatly (though sometimes she'd still move and he'd flinch, or she'd raised her hand or one of her limbs and it'd make impact or-) and they had a nice routine now.</p><p>"It wasn't so bad," he said. "Haru-sensei decided to have a free period today, and Makoto-sensei seemed unusually cheery." His mother beamed. "That's great to hear!"</p><p>It's times like these that remind Nagisa just how much he loves his mother. Despite all of Karma's scathing remarks and unforgiving attitude, he can't bring himself to hate her as much as his friend loathes his own parents. "hey, mom," he begins. "I made a new friend today. Do you mind if he and another friend come over some day?" His mother brightens. "Of course not!" She said. "I'm so happy you're making friends! I'd loved to meet them one day!" He smiles softly.</p><hr/><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>The Abusive Parents Club</strong> </span>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: guyssss<br/>Raspberry: im so borreeeddd</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: Shut up, Akabane.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: no u</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: I am going to commit murder against you, Akabane. One day. I swear.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: lol u can try</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Blueberry: Karma you really shouldn't test him<br/>Blueberry: I'm pretty sure he's serious</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: well if he's serious then i say come at me</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: That is a challenge I am accepting.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Blueberry: Oh no</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: oh yes</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: Watch your back, Akabane.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: will i have to cause im pretty sure youre so incompetent you couldnt even hurt me<br/>Raspberry: number two kun :p XD</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Blueberry: Karma no</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: karma yes!!!!!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: You're dead, Akabane.</strong>
</p><hr/><p>The next day, Nagisa steps in school, and immediately sighs when he sees his friend, Wakamono Heiwa, sliding up to him. "Nnnaaaggiiiissssaaa dude!" Heiwa grins. "You should've seen what happened earlier!" "Oh?" Nagisa smiles, amused. "Yeah! Shojiki Shimin just confessed to Seiza Kireina! And now they're dating! They're already becoming a star couple, man," Heiwa smirked. "Well, then, that's quite a shock," Nagisa says. as they walked towards homeroom. "Although, I always did suspect that Shojiki-kun had feelings for Seiza-san." Heiwa gapes at him. "What? You did?" He asked. "Yes," Nagisa nods.</p><p>"How could you not tell meeeeeee," Heiwa moans. "I'm not too interested in that type of drama, really," Nagisa shakes his head. "You should!" Heiwa whines. "It's interesting!" "You just like gossip, and you know you can't exactly deny it, Heiwa-kun," Nagisa says. "In fact, you remind me of some of my other friends. Although, they go to different schools." Heiwa looks at him curiously. "Really?" "Yes," Nagisa nods. "In fact, Itazura Seishin reminds me of someone I know."</p><p>"Who?"</p><p>"Er- you might not want to know. Itazura-kun is quite mild compared to him..."</p><p>"Oh no."</p><p>"Yes. At least Itazura-kun doesn't shove and squeeze wasabi and countless other agonizing materials up people's nostrils."</p><p>"Shit."</p><hr/><p>Nagisa glances at his phone when it vibrates in indication of a notification, and briefly wonders if it is Karma spamming the chat again. Then he sees the identity of the person and he smiles.</p><p><span class="u"> <strong>Kayano</strong> </span> <strong><br/></strong> <strong>Hi Nagisa!</strong></p><p>He and Kayano had been texting a lot lately, especially since after what happened last year when he had kissed her and she had given him chocolates out of gratitude. Then they went off to their separate high schools and it left them texting each other more often than not. Nagisa ended up spending the rest of his night before bed texting her, and he could barely resist the growing warmth in his chest. If Karma ever were to find out, he would be teased relentlessly.</p><p>He and Kayano (although, he also knew her as the famous actress, Yukimura Akari, didn't he) chatted all night, complaining about nothing and everything, and joking with each other. He went to sleep with a smile on his face.</p><hr/><p>On Sunday, Nagisa was supposed to be having a relaxing weekend before Monday, when he heard a shout of his name. "Nagisaaaaa!"</p><p>He turns to see Heiwa speeding towards him, right arm waving wildly and a wide grin on his face. "Heiwa-kun," he said, surprised. "Hey, Nagisa!" Heiwa says. "Man, I didn't expect to run into you here!" Nagisa smiles mildly. "What are you doing?" Heiwa asks, because he's curious by nature. "I was just wandering around," Nagisa replies. "Cool! Can I join? I'm kind of bored being alone," Heiwa rubs the back of his head sheepishly. "Sure," Nagisa agrees.</p><p>They continue walking before a pair of hands land on both Nagisa and Heiwa's heads. Heiwa yelps, while Nagisa just sighs, recognizing the hands. "Karma," he greets. "What are you doing here?" "Isn't it obvious?" A cheeky and mischievous voice drawls. "I'm visiting my bestie!" Nagisa lets out a breath of amusement before turning and facing Karma (he hates how he has to look up). Heiwa squeaks, seeing Karma's smirk. "Well, well," Karma snickers. "Is this Wakamono Heiwa?"</p><p>Heiwa whips his head towards Nagisa. "How do you know my name?" The poor boy asks. "I know every one of Nagisa's friends' names," Karma replied. "Including yours, and the guy he pretends to forget to ever mention, Itazura Seishin!" Nagisa groans. "Karma, please don't corrupt him," he begs. "He's way more better and way more mild than you, and I'd rather not have to experience multiple pranks similar to yours everyday."</p><p>Karma's devilish smirk widens. "Why, Nagisa, I'm hurt," he says, grabbing his heart in mock pain. "I'd never do such a thing! I'd only be giving him... ideas..." "No," Nagisa pleads. "No."</p><p>Karma laughs. He doesn't look the least bit sorry.</p><p>"Don't worry," he says. "I'll make sure you two are spared."</p><p>He pats Nagisa's head, then Heiwa's, before spinning around and leaving.</p><p>"Th- that," Heiwa breathes, something akin to awe and horror on his face. "That was the friend who Itazura reminded you of? But worse?"</p><p>Nagisa sighs and nods.</p><hr/><p>The next day, when Monday rolls around and school starts, the screams of horror and humiliation ring throughout the school as students were subjected to horror after horror, prank after prank, torture after torture. "Kaaaarmaaaaa," Nagisa groans, praying to whatever non-existent deity lived up there in the heavens or whatever. "Your friend did this," Heiwa whispers in dismay. "He did this." "I know," Nagisa closes his eyes.</p><p>"Shiota! Wakamono!" Itazura Seishin's face brightens as he spots them. "Shiota! Tell your friend thanks for me! His ideas were brilliant!" Itazura grins. "Actually, I'll just tell him myself. He had my number somehow."</p><p>Nagisa despairs silently. Karma made this happen. He made students run from the horrors from which they'd never experienced. The torture that Kunugigaoka students suffered through and knew all too well but his school didn't. He could practically hear Karma's delighted cackle at the chaos erupting throughout the school building. In fact, he could hear Itazura's delighted cackle.</p><p>Nagisa thinks Karma shouldn't be allowed to be as much of a genius as he is.</p><p>Later that day, he texts Karma.</p><hr/><p><span class="u"> <strong>Me<br/></strong> </span> <strong>This is all your fault</strong></p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">Karma</span><br/>hah<br/></strong>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Karma has sent a recording!</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>The recording...:</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Karma: HAHAHAhahahahaHHHaaaaaHAHAHAHAHAHAhaHAHAHAhaHAAAAHHAHAHAhHAhAHAHAHAHahaHHAAAAAHHHHhaaaaaaaahhhhaAAaaaaAAAAAaaaaHHAAaaaHHHHhhhhhhaaaaaaa-</strong> </em>
</p><p>Nagisa turns off the recording, turns off his phone, and throws it across his bed before the sound of Karma's evil demonic cackles and laughter could finish.</p><hr/><p><span class="u"> <strong>Asano</strong> </span> <strong><br/></strong> <strong>Shiota.<br/></strong> <strong>As much as I loathe to say this, I need your help.</strong></p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">Me</span><br/>Asano?<br/>What's wrong?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">Asano</span><br/>I heard Akabane laughing quite a lot today.<br/>Something felt strange the longer he laughed.<br/>You know him best, so I thought you might know what felt so strange.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">Me</span><br/>Ah<br/>Well, he was laughing because he met someone in my school who was like him<br/>He gave him ideas, and, well...<br/>My school was in chaos<br/>I don't exactly know what strange feeling you have, so do you mind describing it for me?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">Asano</span><br/>When Akabane laughs, I have this feeling.<br/>It's become weird.<br/></strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">Me</span><br/>In what way?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">Asano</span><br/>I... am not sure.<br/></strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">Me</span><br/>Well, if you ever need to talk about it or if you ever need some help to figure it out, I'll be here<br/>You don't have to, of course, but just in case</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">Asano</span><br/>I shall consider it.</strong>
</p><hr/><p>Nagisa wakes up bright and early on a Thursday morning, mourning the loss of whatever little sleep he had left.</p><p>He wakes, up, gets ready for school, and heads out.</p><p>He hadn't realized exactly what was going to happen.</p><p>He thinks Karma shouldn't be allowed to be as much of a genius as he is.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay. so some of the people mentioned in the chapter are obviously OCs. Their names are completely made up, and I made their names out of words translated by Google Translate- which, I know, pretty bad.<br/>According to Google Translate (and take in mind I introduce surnames before given names), their names mean:</p><p>Wakamono Heiwa: "Youth" and "Peace"</p><p>Shojiki Shimin: "Honesty" or "honest" (For "Honest", Shojiki is a shortened version of the word[s] "Shojikina Tokoro") and "civil" or "citizen"</p><p>Seiza Kireina: "Constellation" or "sign" and "beautiful" (or at least that's what I think "kireina" means- "beautiful". Not too sure though)</p><p>Itazura Seishin: "mischief" or "mischievous" and "spirit"</p><p>Also, if the slight mention of Nagisa's lack of religion and dissmissal of it offended anyone, I'm sorry. I have a religion too, so if you have problems, sorry for upsetting you.</p><p>I really didn't know what to write for this chapter so I made it up along the way lol. This was kind of a free write but not really? I just made it up as I went so I might be a little bad.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I Can Feel The Rush Of Adrenaline, I'm Not Scared To Jump 'Cause I Want You, Let's Just Fall In Love For The Hell Of It, Maybe We'll Just Keep Falling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Karma starts to realize maybe there's something a little more going on when he thinks of Gakushuu.</p><p>Also, another plan is put into action! Nagisa, hope you like Karma's absolutely amazing and brilliant gift! Karma certainly does, and there's no one who can stop him!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter title is song lyrics to Fallin' by Why Don't We</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Oh, no.</p><p>Akabane Karma is a genius delinquent. He gets into fights to protect the bullied or defenseless and he lives on his sadism, shoving his tubes of wasabi, mustard and hot sauce up the nostrils of people. He has abusive parents who he spits and curses at. He is a depressed fighter who cuts. He loves pranks and mischief and-</p><p>He can't be...</p><p>He can't be having a crush.</p><p>He can't be having a crush on <em>Asano Gakushuu</em> of all people.</p><p>Yet-</p><p>Yet it's there.</p><p>He likes being near the perfectionist, likes talking to him and teasing him and likes his perfect looks like his smile and his eyes and his face and hair and...</p><p>Well. He likes him.</p><p>Shit.</p><p>Karma runs his hands over his face. He's been laying on his bed since he woke up, deciding to skip school to contemplate on his newfound crush on the chairman's son.</p><p>And-</p><p>Gakushuu is...</p><p>What does he see in Gakushuu again?</p><p>Well, Gakushuu is smart and strong. He's good looking, and he's sarcastic. He's not afraid of Karma, nor is he afraid to banter and fight with him. In fact, he's quite on par with Karma in academics. Karma's not sure if Gakushuu's on par with him strength wise, but the student council president is certainly strong and athletic. He's not perfect like he pretends to be, and he's so similar to Karma in so many ways- even more so than Nagisa and Karma are similar. And maybe Karma can admit that he likes Gakushuu.</p><p>Well.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>Karma definitely has a crush on Gakushuu.</p><p>Well, actually, more like...</p><p>More like he's...</p><p>He's <em>in love</em> with Gakushuu.</p><p>Oh no.</p><hr/><p>Karma is laying on his bed, wearing an oversized Monokuma hoodie (he loves the game!) and comfortable gray shorts that end just above his knees (though you can barely see them due to the sheer size of the hoodie- can you blame him? It's so comfortable when they're oversized!).</p><p>He's hugging one of his biggest pillows as he looks through games to play on his phone, when suddenly-</p><p>He gets an idea.</p><p>Smiling evilly, Karma grabs his laptop, laying on his stomach while still hugging the pillow. He uses his laptop to hack into Nagisa's phone.</p><p>Cackling happily, he does his task, before logging off and placing his laptop back on his desk.</p><p>He's such a genius.</p><hr/><p>Karma wakes up to hear the ringing of the doorbell echoing through his house. He groans, burying his face into his pillow, ignoring it. Hopefully the person outside will get the hint and leave.</p><p>They don't.</p><p>The doorbell rings again.</p><p>A pause for a few minutes.</p><p>His phone vibrates.</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>ASS-A-NO</strong> </span>
  <br/>
  <strong>Akabane.</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>I know you're in there.</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>Open up.</strong>
</p><p>Oh, it's Gakushuu.</p><p>Karma gets out of bed, still hugging his pillow, before leaving his room and trudging downstairs. He opens the door to see Gakushuu standing there, an annoyed look on his face.</p><p>"Yo," he says. Gakushuu looks at him, mouth opening to say something, before his eyes drop lower and he closes it, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>"You don't even have the decency to cover yourself, Akabane?" Karma looks down. Ah, right. The hoodie and shorts.</p><p>"Nah, I'm wearing shorts underneath," he says before pulling up the edge of the hoodie slightly to reveal the gray shorts underneath. "Why are you here?"</p><p>Gakushuu glares. "Why weren't you in class today?" Karma rolls his eyes. "I skipped school, obviously," he says. "Didn't feel like going."</p><p>Gakushuu narrows his eyes.</p><p>"You better be in class tomorrow, Akabane," he threatens. "Or I'll make sure you are put as part of the preparation staff for the next school festival."</p><p>Karma grimaces.</p><p>"Fine," he grumbles, hands slipping inside the extra long sleeves of his hoodie.</p><p>Gakushuu stares at his clothing, before scoffing and turning away.</p><p>(Karma thinks he says a faint flush on the other boy's cheeks.)</p><p>"You can come in if you want," Karma says lazily. A part of him silently snarks that he's going too fast in the relationship. He tells that part to shut the fuck up.</p><p>Gakushuu raises an eyebrow but steps in, removing his shoes. Karma yawns as he closes and locks the door, before ruffling his already messy hair and hugging his pillow tighter. He sits on the couch, both arms around the pillow as he snuggles into it. "I'm going to cook later," he murmurs. "Just stay quiet for now and I'll sleep."</p><p>He doesn't see Gakushuu narrow his eyes or study him closely as he lays down and buries his face into the huge pillow.</p><hr/><p>(When Karma wakes up, it is to Gakushuu working on his homework. The school jacket is flung over the armrest of the sofa, and Karma can see fresh white bandages on Gakushuu's left arm. Ah, so new cuts.</p><p>Karma sits up drowsily, blinking at Gakushuu as the other boy stares back, before yawning and getting up.</p><p>"You're still here?" He asks. Gakushuu raises an eyebrow. "You're the one who invited me here, Akabane," he replies.</p><p>Karma nods, before leaving the pillow on the couch and heading to the kitchen.)</p><hr/><p>After cooking and eating, Gakushuu leaves. Karma waves goodbye to him lazily, before closing and locking the door. It's definitely real now. He likes <em>Asano Gakushuu</em>. He must have terrible taste in men. Whatever. He'll just hint at his crush, and if Gakushuu doesn't pick up on it, he'll get more obvious. If he <em>still</em> doesn't understand for whatever reason like the dumbass he is, Karma will just outright confess or ask him out. Great. Now he knows what to do.</p><p>But, well...</p><p>Karma wonders how the others at school will react.</p><p>He grins.</p><hr/><p>(Later on that day, Nagisa texts him complaining.</p><p><strong> <span class="u">Nagisa</span><br/></strong> <strong>Karma!<br/>What did you do?!<br/>Why are all my searches of kids' toys and bouncy castles?!<br/>And why do I have new apps on my phone?<br/>They're so childish!<br/>MY PHONE BACKGROUND IS A UNICORN<br/>You weren't even near me at all today<br/>You didn't even have my phone<br/>How</strong></p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">Me</span><br/>oh poor naive Nagisa<br/>theres a thing called hacking<br/>and im a genius<br/>hope you like your new gifts Nagisa :)</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><span class="u">Nagisa</span><br/>KARMA<br/>WHY CAN'T I CHANGE IT BACK<br/>WHY CAN'T I DELETE THEM EITHER</strong>
</p><p><strong><span class="u">Me</span><br/></strong>😈</p><p><strong> <span class="u">Nagisa</span><br/></strong> <strong>KARMA</strong></p><p>Karma cackles happily.)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I didn't have much ideas for this one, lol, but I wanted to update.</p><p>Also, at first, I had no idea what Karma's 'plan' was going to be, but I sorta went with the flow and made it up as I went :p</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. My Heart's A Stereo, It Beats For You So Listen Close, Hear My Thoughts In Every Note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter title from Stereo Hearts by Gyms Class Heroes (ft. Adam Levine)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Asano Gakushuu has a problem.</p><p>The problem's name is Akabane Karma.</p><p>Why is... <em>that</em>... the problem?</p><p>Well.</p><p>"A- sa- nooooo..." The Devil whines.</p><p>Gakushuu ignores him.</p><p>"I'm booooorreeeedddd," it drawls.</p><p>"Go play with Shiota," Gakushuu says.</p><p>"But he's not here."</p><p>"Text him."</p><p>''But you're right in front of me."</p><p>"I'm busy."</p><p>"All you're doing is studying. You always study."</p><p>"Education is important."</p><p>"Not if studying is the only thing you do all day."</p><p>"Studying helps broaden the mind."</p><p>"You can't study all day. You should take a break."</p><p>Gakushuu sighs. Yes. His <em>problem</em> is an extremely frustrating fly that refuses to just leave him alone.</p><p>"Akabane," he says flatly. "Shut up."</p><p>Akabane gasps dramatically in mock horror.</p><p>"Asano Gakushuu! Just! Cursed!" He says.</p><p>"That was not foul language," Gakushuu says.</p><p>"Asano Gakushuu just told me to shut up," Akabane pretends to sob.</p><p>Gakushuu imagines wringing his neck.</p><p>"Akabane," he says instead. "Please stay quiet so I can study."</p><p>"Okay!" Satan hums, before skipping off.</p><p>Gakushuu sighs in relief.</p><p>He goes back to studying.</p><p>The Demon skips back to him while drinking a carton of strawberry milk.</p><p>Gakushuu resists the urge to groan in annoyance.</p><p>The Sadist sits down and stares at him.</p><p>Gakushuu does not look at <em>it</em>.</p><p>The Spawn Of Evil does not deserve to be called a <em>he</em>. The Spawn Of Evil deserves to be called an <em>it</em>.</p><p>The sound of slurping interrupts the silence. Gakushuu grits his teeth.</p><p>The Vile Entity pouts. Gakushuu ignores it.</p><p>The Utter Irritating Pest lays its head on its arms. Gakushuu does not turn to look.</p><p>The Insect lifts an arm to poke him. Gakushuu raises his arm as a warning.</p><p>It lowers its arm.</p><p>Silence.</p><hr/><p>(Later, Gakushuu turns to look at the Revolting Hyena, only to see it sleeping peacefully. The light from  the sun through the window and the room lights above cast a small halo in his hair and his arms under his head twitch every once in a while. Puffs of air leave his lips and his lashes seem so long up close. Gakushuu stares. His arm raises and his hand twitches and it falls on the head with red locks. He pauses. Snatches his arm away. Gakushuu stares with a flush on his cheeks.</p><p>He turns away.)</p><hr/><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>The Abusive Parents Club</strong> </span>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: guys i just had an awesome idea<br/>Raspberry: hear me out</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Blueberry: Yes Karma</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: for our next meet up<br/>Raspberry: which will be this saturday btw<br/>Raspberry: asano will be bringing entertainment<br/>Raspberry: also wear the matching shirts i got</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: Wait, why me?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: well we take turns<br/>Raspberry: it's a circle<br/>Raspberry: every meet up someone else brings stuff to do<br/>Raspberry: last time i brought the matching shirts<br/>Raspberry: it's ur turn</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: What? Why can't Shiota go next?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: i said it's ur turn fucktard</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Strawberry: Fine. But why this Saturday?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: cause i said so</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Blueberry: Guys, don't fight<br/>Blueberry: We'll be there Karma<br/>Blueberry: And we'll wear the matching shirts</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Raspberry: hell yeah</strong>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>Asano and his Idiots</strong> </span>
</p><p>
  <strong>Idiot 1, The Highest Honor of Idiot: Asano, we were planning on studying together this Saturday. Are you coming?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Asano, The Idiot Tamer: Apologies, Ren. I'm afraid I am occupied that day. I've already made plans.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Idiot 1, The Highest Honor of Idiot: That's alright. Would you be up for Sunday instead, or are you busy then too?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Asano, The Idiot Tamer: I am fine with Sunday.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Idiot, English Sir: That's great!</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Social Studies, Ha! I Know More, Idiot!: We'll see you then, right?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Asano, The Idiot Tamer: Yes.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Memorization is Science, Eyebrows, Idiot: What are your plans for Saturday anyway, Asano?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Asano, The Idiot Tamer: I will not say.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Idiot 1, The Highest Honor of Idiot: That's alright, Asano, you don't need to tell us.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Asano, The Idiot Tamer: Thank you, Ren.</strong>
</p><hr/><p>Gakushuu arrives home. He greets his father. He gets no reply, and he is not punished. He enters his room, closes the door, and places his bag down. Then he sits on his bed. He thinks.</p><p>It spirals into another thought about the <em>Abusive Parents Club </em>that Akabane had presented to them (although they were unwillingly dragged along). Gakushuu has no idea why Akabane thought it was a good idea. First of all, why just the three of them? Should it even be a club? Gakushuu's pretty sure every child has been hurt by their parent. Doesn't everyone get hit by their mother and father? Second thing, why keep it a secret? Akabane seemed to leave that hanging in the air. What reason is there to hide it? None that Gakushuu knows. He'll do it anyway, of course, but still. Also, his m-</p><p>His friends.</p><p>Ren, Araki, Seo, and Koyama.</p><p>They're getting suspicious lately.</p><p>They also ask how he's suddenly become friends with Akabane, somewhat.</p><p>Gakushuu doesn't know.</p><p>Akabane's also been acting weird.</p><p>He's been bothering Gakushuu a lot more and pouting and whining. He's been clingy, and sometimes Gakushuu doesn't understand some of the things he's saying, which cause Akabane to give him an unimpressed look. Gakushuu should be the one who's unimpressed! He's the one who should be giving Akabane that look! Not the other way around! Who does Akabane think he is? He's the one saying confusing things! What does <em>studying is bad for you, but don't worry, I'll help because I'm good for you </em>mean exactly? Why does Gakushuu's reply of <em>you're never good for me Akabane, you're a terrible influence and you should be studying too, not going out to play in the park or whatever </em>suddenly cause Akabane to give him such a deadpan look? It doesn't make sense! <em>Akabane</em> doesn't make sense!</p><p>His friends had choked hearing that from Akabane, though Gakushuu doesn't understand why. He also doesn't understand why they'd given him such a bewildered yet unimpressed look when he'd replied, either. What was so wrong about his answer? He just said the truth! He should be studying, not having whatever fun Akabane intended.</p><p>Also, Shiota.</p><p>There's something about Shiota that makes Gakushuu's skin crawl and makes everything in him scream to back away, although Gakushuu will never admit that. It's not the boy himself, but... <em>something</em> about him... or around him? Gakushuu doesn't know. Gakushuu's not sure.</p><p>There's also his father. His father, who he loves and admires and he just wants his father to love him the board chairman the principal the-</p><p>Ahem. Moving on.</p><p>The school. His class. The other classes. The senseis and staff. Everyone.</p><p>He still needs to tutor students after school tomorrow, and he promised he'd go to the class get-together for a movie marathon. The hostess, Kinoshita Asuka, promised to make sure everyone was there and accounted for before they started, so he couldn't exactly skip out- not that he would, it would be detrimental to his reputation and the good, pure image the other students had of him. Speaking of, most of the school had been a little more hostile to Akabane lately. If Gakushuu had to pick a certain time it started, he'd say it happened a little after Akabane had said that thing in the library- the <em>studying is bad for you, but don't worry, I'll help because I'm good for you. </em>He doesn't know the reason the school would be so hostile and agitated towards Akabane, but, well...</p><p>Also why do his thoughts always eventually stray to Akabane? It doesn't make sense. What does Akabane have to do with anything?</p><p>It doesn't matter what he'd be thinking of, Akabane will always pop back up in his thoughts. Why is that? Gakushuu doesn't understand. Akabane is so frustrating! It must be because of that. Yes. Akabane is such a pest.</p><p>Gakushuu can't help himself. He can't stop thinking about Akabane. Why? Why is Akabane always intruding his thoughts? No matter where Gakushuu goes, he's always bothered by Akabane!</p><p>It makes him want to tug his hair and rip it out from his scalp.</p><p>Gakushuu flops on his bed, staring at the ceiling.</p><p><em>Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhh! </em>His mind screams. <em>He's nice, </em>his heart comments.</p><p><em>No. NO. </em>Gakushuu thinks. <em>Akabane is not nice.</em></p><p>Gakushuu stops. He pauses. He quickly thinks of something else.</p><p>He thinks of his educational subjects.</p><p>Science, Japanese, English, Social Studies, Math...</p><p>Akabane was always good at math.</p><p>No.</p><p>Science...</p><p>Koyama is quite commendable at science. Really though, Gakushuu is better. Okuda Manami from last year's E Class seemed to have taken his expertise of that, too.</p><p>Japanese.</p><p>Ren is quite extravagant with that subject. Of course, Gakushuu is still the best, although Kanzaki Yukiko from last year's E Class was quite impressive too.</p><p>English.</p><p>Seo always likes to brag about the fact that he went to Los Angeles. He likes to brag about his English skills. Well, Gakushuu is more fluent than he is, and Nakamura Rio from last year's E Class surpassed him as well.</p><p>Social Studies.</p><p>Araki is quite confident, and holds one of the top spots in that subject. Gakushuu always holds top, though, and Isogai Yuuma of last year's E Class held quite strong, too.</p><p>For Math...</p><p>Gakushuu holds that title rather well. Or, he did, until last year with Akabane.</p><p>Akabane and his stupid red hair.</p><p>Akabane, who is actually a challenge and holds well against Gakushuu, who makes it a competition and who excels at Math more than Gakushuu does. Someone on par with Gakushuu.</p><p>Akabane, who is a rival and acquaintance, a sort-of-friend.</p><p>Akabane, who is intelligent and strong.</p><p>Akabane-</p><p>NO.</p><p>Change of subject.</p><hr/><p>Gakushuu comes to school the next day, exhausted.</p><p>Akabane approaches his desk.</p><p>"Yo, Asano," he drawls.</p><p>"Akabane," Gakushuu greets.</p><p>"You know, you seem pretty tired," Akabane says. "Not getting enough sleep? You could hurt your pretty face."</p><p>"Yes, well, thank you," Gakushuu says. "I'm quite flattered you think my face is pretty."</p><p>"<em>Everyone</em> thinks your face is pretty, Asano," Akabane deadpans.</p><p>Gakushuu hums in faux surprise. No one can tell except Akabane. Maybe also the other Virtuosos, but that's because they know him. (Although, Gakushuu will admit to himself, that Akabane knows him more than they do, and Gakushuu talks to Akabane less.)</p><p>"Oh," he says. "I didn't realize."</p><p>Akabane hums, a disbelieving tone in it that only Gakushuu picks up.</p><p>"Well, Asano," Akabane starts. "I'm sure you have it in you today to get lunch with me."</p><p>Gakushuu hums. "Sure. I'll invite Ren and the others."</p><p>Akabane gives him another deadpan look. What did Gakushuu do?</p><p>The classmates around him give similar looks, though most are glaring at Akabane. Some are squealing and laughing, though Gakushuu doesn't know why.</p><p>Ren sighs. "It's- it's fine, Gakushuu," he says. "Just... go with Akabane."</p><p>Akabane looks at Ren in surprise, before looking at Ren like he was some deity.</p><p>Gakushuu doesn't understand.</p><p>He doesn't even realize that Ren called him by his given name (because the boy was just so done with Gakushuu's obliviousness and Akabane's flirting, no matter how subtle).</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>At first I didn't really know what to write lol. I did know that I really wanted to add in Karma somewhat flirting with Gakushuu/trying to ask Gakushuu out and an oblivious Gakushuu XD</p><p>Here is chapter 8<br/>:D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. I’m Not Gonna Give You Up, I Got You I Swear To God, Let Me Love You Let Me Love You All Day, I Got A Milli, Got A Milli, Got A Million Ways</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"A well of anger and frustration, pain and suffering, love and yearning swells deep in his gut, tearing him apart as his emotions flood throughout his entire body and escape through warm, hot tears trailing down his cheeks. Unfairness and desire rule his life, all thanks to his mother. Those long blue locks cascading down his shoulders taunt him, mocking him as if he were powerless, and he was. There was no other way to describe it.</p><p>He was powerless.</p><p>And with the love he had for his his mother, the desire for her affection, there was nothing he could do."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter title is lyrics from Million Ways by HRVY!</p><p>Me, About Two Weeks Ago: I'm going to update this week!</p><p>Power: Lol nope *shuts down*</p><p>Schedule: Lol nope *packs up*</p><p>Laziness: Lol nope *increases*</p><p>Other Factors: Lol nope *piles in one after another*</p><p>Me: *pikachu face*</p><p>But I'm here now! Updating! I'm going to be updating all my stories/ series this week and maybe next week too, so you don't have to wait any longer! :D</p><p>I worked a lot on this story because at times I didn't know what to write, but I persevered!</p><p>Now there's a lot going on in this chapter, and a lot will probably be going on in the next chapter, too. Some of these events are based on real-life experiences (though not all) so they will be a bit jumbled and they might not make sense, but a lot of emotions are like that.</p><p>Warning: slight and subtle dysphoria, angst, panic attacks, etc.</p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shiota Nagisa likes to think he has a good life going for him. He has amazing teachers, amazing friends, and he has the skills of an assassin. Thanks to his teachers, he has gotten better at his studies, too. He's got two friends to relate to, and his mother's accepted him for who he is. So Shiota Nagisa would like to say he has a good life.</p><p>If only that were entirely true.</p><p>Truth is, his mother hasn't entirely accepted him. She still thinks of him as her little girl, she still gets disappointed when he refuses to wear the dresses and skirts she's bought, and Karma's said he's pretty sure his mother has mental issues. As much as Nagisa hates to admit it, it's true. He worries for his mother very much, but there's nothing he can do.</p><p>"Mother," he whispers. "I can't wear this."</p><p>"You can, and you will," his mother snarls.</p><p>A beautiful dress is held in his mother's hands. A stunning baby blue satin with pink silk in small frills outlining the top. The skirt of the dress fans out a tiny bit, and it looks like it would reach his knees. The waist is cinched with a tight pink ribbon. The dress is devoid of sleeves, but rather spaghetti straps in a small pastel pink. All in all, the dress is cute. It would make any girl look absolutely gorgeous. The problem is that Nagisa is not a girl. He is a boy.</p><p>"Mother," Nagisa says. "I am not a girl. I can't wear this dress."</p><p>His mother is once again set off.</p><p>"Are you kidding me? Are you serious?" She yells. "I do so much for you! I cook, I clean, I take care of you, I raise you! And how do you repay me? STOP BEING SO SELFISH! YOU'RE MY BABY GIRL! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? DO YOU NOT APPRECIATE ME?"</p><p>:"That's not it, I-" Nagisa stutters, but she cuts him off.</p><p>"NO! YOU ALWAYS ACT SO SELFISH AND UNCARING! STOP IT! DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT ME? YOUR MOTHER?"</p><p>"I do! I-"</p><p>"SHUT UP! YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT!"</p><p>A slap. Nagisa crashes to the floor.</p><p>He gently cradles his cheek as he stares up at his mother.</p><p>She stares down at him, a dark look crossing her face.</p><p>It's times like this Nagisa wishes his father were here.</p><p>Last year, after the events at Kunugigaoka Junior High, his father had moved back in. His parents were trying and attempting to to get their marriage back on track. His mother had been better. Then, his father had to leave on a business trip for a few months. He regularly called, but it didn't feel like enough. His mother had been slowly reverting back to the way she'd been before.</p><p>He misses his father.</p><p>Nagisa quickly scrambles up to his room, bottling his emotions so they wouldn't burst in front of his mother.</p><p>Once in the safe haven of his bedroom, Nagisa locks the door and slides to the floor, his frame wracking with silent sobs.</p><p>His breaths pick up in pace a panicked state overcoming him.</p><p>A well of anger and frustration, pain and suffering, love and yearning swells deep in his gut, tearing him apart as his emotions flood throughout his entire body and escape through warm, hot tears trailing down his cheeks. Unfairness and desire rule his life, all thanks to his mother. Those long blue locks cascading down his shoulders taunt him, mocking him as if he were powerless, and he was. There was no other way to describe it.</p><p>He was powerless.</p><p>And with the love he had for his his mother, the desire for her affection, there was nothing he could do.</p>
<hr/><p>Later that night, Karma calls.</p><p>"Hey, Nagisa," he says softly.</p><p>"Karma," Nagisa whispers.</p><p>He knows Karma can hear the croaky hitch in his voice.</p><p>"Nagisa-kun," Karma suddenly pipes up. "Do you know what happened today? It was completely ridiculous, let me tell you..."</p><p>Nagisa smiles, content to listen to his best friend ramble on with whatever topic until he falls asleep.</p><p>"Nagisa-kun?" Karma's voice questions from the phone. Nagisa doesn't answer, having tumbled into slumber.</p><p>Karma laughs silently.</p><p>"Good night, Nagisa-kun."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh I'm back!</p><p>I was so busy and lazy that I hadn't updated in a while!</p><p>But I was so determined to clear up my schedule and get through my laziness because I really wanted to update for all you guys! So here I am!</p><p>For those of you who read my other works, not all the updated chapters will be released today! They'll be released within the next few days, so be sure to look out for that!</p><p>So I really wanted to add a bit of normal daily teenage life, which was why everything so far has been a bit mild. After all, they're still stressed and struggling teenagers! But I decided it was time to add a bit more angst and write a bit more on what this story is mainly about. Honestly, when I first started writing this story, I had no idea how it was supposed to go beyond the idea of their friendship. Now, though, I have a bit of the plot and idea in my head, but it's going to take some time, honestly.</p><p>So I really vented a few feelings of mine out in this chapter (different circumstances though, my parents are perfectly normal). Poor Nagisa, I'm so mean 😭😭</p><p>Sorry Blueberry.</p><p>Of course, things will eventually get more lighter for him, and for Strawberry and Raspberry too, but things will take time!</p><p>I had difficulty spinning an argument for Nagisa to experience with his mother, because I didn't know how to start it, or continue it, or even how to end it. But I really wanted to convey the unfairness and conflict Nagisa feels, along with the feeling of utter defeat and resignation. To Nagisa, who has always wanted his mother to accept him, and suddenly moving on from that in his time in 3-E, there still needs to be that bit of closure. There also should be unresolved tension and feelings boiling around somewhere, and I wanted to really add that in my writing. I hope I expressed that well.</p><p>Sorry this was a short chapter!</p><p>Hope you enjoyed!</p><p>Thanks for all your support! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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